Having obtained a degree in physics I, as you can probably imagine, border on near-genius status. Despite this, I find it near-impossible to interact with other humans. Especially women. Especially blonde women. My normal approach is useless here!

Imagine, then, if somebody such as myself found themselves living next door to such a woman. Why, the consequences would be hilarious! Somebody should make a sitcom about this.

Oh hang on, they did. It’s called The Big Bang Theory, which is the name of something complicated that you probably won’t understand.

Leonard and Sheldon are brilliant physicists, the kind of "beautiful minds" that understand how the universe works. But none of that genius helps them interact with people, especially women. All this begins to change when a free-spirited beauty named Penny moves in next door. Sheldon, Leonard’s roommate, is quite content spending his nights playing Klingon Boggle with their socially dysfunctional friends, fellow CalTech scientists Wolowitz and Koothrappali. However, Leonard sees in Penny a whole new universe of possibilities… including love.

It’s like they know me! This is just as funny as when I worked as a bookseller, and I saw my kind playing the geeky foil to Pamela Anderson in another quality sitcom (brilliantly called Stacked), which was unfairly cancelled during its first season.

As it seems programme makers are doing their best to personally insult me, I assume it’s only a matter of time before there’s a sitcom based around a bunch of socially inept lexicographers whose lives are shaken up by, say, Paris Hilton moving in to the adjacent office. I’m laughing already!