Tag humour

I didn’t. I probably couldn’t.

I don’t know what it is about engineers and “PhD science graduates” that makes Maximuscle feel they should be the particular focus of their “I did. You can.” campaign for their bodybuilding nutritional supplements:

Russell Lee – Engineer – Built a six-pack.

I always wanted a lean and defined body but I had a busy job on the road as an Engineer and lived on fast food – my size just ballooned. Then my life changed. I started a new job and got advice from a friend to start training properly and use Maximuscle. Within two weeks I started to lose fat and had the energy to juggle a job, decorate my house and go to the gym a couple of times a week.

I used Promax protein drinks to support my muscle development and Thermobol to help break down the fat I’d put on. I quickly lost 2½ stone and achieved the six-pack I always dreamt of. There are no gimmicks with Maximuscle products, they’re safe and really do what they say. Now I’ve started my own company, changed my life and my body. Believe me, if I can do it, so can you.

Alex Swales – PhD Science Graduate – Built lean muscle.

Four years ago, thanks to a university lifestyle of drinking, junk food and partying I was 18½ stone and fat. I was trapped in a fat suit that wouldn’t allow me to do the things I loved. Then I got a wake up call. My doctor told me that I was heading for an early grave, and to top it off, I broke up with my girlfriend.

So in 2007 I revolutionised my life. I tried lots of stuff but only one thing worked. Maximuscle. I am living proof that these products do what they say. I started taking the gym seriously and used Cyclone all-in-one to build muscle and strength and get myself in top shape. Now I’ve taken up rock climbing and kite boarding, and best of all, I’ve lost 5 stone! I now know why Maximuscle is number one and would recommend it to anyone.

After all, I remember pretty much everybody from my physics degree course looking a bit like this.

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Chemical Shifts and Coupling Constants for Silicon-29

The $8,539 book Chemical Shifts and Coupling Constants for Silicon-29 is creating some heated discussion in its Amazon reviews:

Wow, what a great book. It’s a real shame what they’re doing with the movie. Why change it to silicon-9? Just to make the title catchier?!? Ridiculous.

I’m a big fan of the NMR genre, but this book was really just phoned in. I mean, "Chemical Shifts of P-31 Compounds" had me on the edge of my seat, and "Hyperfine Coupling Constants of the Pnictogens" had a little something for everybody. I can say this with the conviction that only comes with love when I say that "Chemical Shifts and Coupling Constants for Silicon-29" is total crap.

Do not be fooled! Lechner and Marsmann are mental infants. Every third year grad student knows that you can’t manipulate subvolume III/35A with nuclei B-11 without first lowering the magnetic replicator to -300 ohms! Not to mention that unless you lower the cylindrical volume 4 quarks you’ll freeze 90% of the atoms! And don’t get me started on nucleus Si-29, you can’t possibly think anybody is going to believe that subvolume III/35F can be examined without a particle shifter! Please!

Almost as good are the reviews for 1 gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk (which, sadly, is no longer available).

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The Elements of Spam

After the Elements of Style, the Elements of Spam:

14. Use the active voice.

Notice how aloof the passive voice is.

‘Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!’

Hardly persuasive.

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What SCIENCE means

Ever wondered what SCIENCE stands for?

SCIENCE stands for Super-Corroborative Information on Everything and Nothing in the Cosmos and Earth. That’s a pretty wide-ranging subject, I’m sure you’ll agree!

So now you know. Ah, Look Around You was brilliant…

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Entomological study considered fun

Headline: Entomological Study Considered Fun

The writers of this article, from a 1930 issue of Science News Letter, didn’t seem to have high hopes for most entomological studies.

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